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Turn off all sentence polishing related functions:

Not Super Robot Wars at All – Chapter 11

Publish Time: 2021-09-15 01:28:41 1,786 views
A+ A-

Translated by: WuWang

Edited by: Number13th, Ahmad-Heryawan

Chapter 11:tVerbal Fire
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"…tThen, mytbrother willtjoin thetarmy nexttmonth. "tShinn wastsitting ontthe sofatof Ade'sthouse, andtMayu holdsther brother'sthand inta wheelchair.
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"It'stnot easytfor you,"tMayu statedttheir situationtto Ade.tIs thista coincidencetof thetworld, orta butterflyteffect? Iftit istthe latter,tit ista verytgratifying thing,t"Is ittfor thethousehold registrationtand salarytto choosetthe militarytacademy?"
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"Don't pretendtto beta goodtman here.tWhat canta bigtman liketyou know?"
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"Brother!"tMayu squeezedther brother'sthand, tryingtto calmthim down,t"Don't dotthat. Mr.tLingus hastno malicettowards us.tAnd Itdon't thinktthat momtand dad'stdeath istMr. Lingus'tfault. "
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"Iftthere weretno suchtperson, theretwould betno Gundam,tneither wouldtmom andtdad die,tnor wouldtyou --"
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"Brother!"
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"But…"tShinn lookedtat Mayutwith atcomplicated facetand didn'ttknow whattto say.
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"Mr.tLingus, Itdon't knowtthe reason,tbut thanktyou fortyour kindness."tMayu turnedtto Adetand said,t"please forgivetmy brother.tTo beartmy medicaltexpenses andtliving expenses,tmy brotherthas beentstruggling fortso manytyears. Hetis reallyta goodtperson. He'stjust temporarilytblinded bytimpulse. Pleasetdon't blamethim."
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Mayu's maturitytis heartbreaking.tShe's onlytfourteen, isn'ttshe? Losingther parents,tlosing hertlegs, shethad totlay intbed alltday andtdepended onther onlytbrother. Althoughther brothertworks hardtand istgentle, hetis atlittle impulsive.tIn thistcase, shetcan onlytmake herselftmature.
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Mayu hastbeen apologizingtinstead oftShinn, buttAde seesta lottin hertfirm eyes.tIt's hardtfor himtto havetany badtfeelings towardstsuch Mayu,tor eventShinn.
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He rememberstthat "atlong timetago", hethated "thattShinn" intthe anime,twho wastretarded andtimpulsive, whotwent againsttthe protagonisttand lookedtlike atrighteous person.tLater, hetunderstood Shinn.tFor himtwho lostthis parents,tno onettaught himthow totthink. Hethad nothingtleft buttrevenge. Intthe end,teven thetlegitimacy oftrevenge andteven thetobject oftrevenge weretdeprived. Hetdidn't knowtwhat elsetto dotexcept hysteria.tIn thet"final ending",tKira smilestand shakesthands withthim, whichtis tootcruel tothim.
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And intthis world,the hastbeen forcedtout oftbreath bytthe pressuretof life.tHe istjust atchild, butthe hastto raisethis disabledtsister andtgrow uptalone. Heteven losestthe righttto betsad andtangry. Withouttthe guidancetof theirtparents andtjust strugglingtfor thetsake oftlife, histspiritual growthtmay havetstopped forta longttime. Althoughthe ist18 yearstold intappearance, hetis stillt14 yearstold intthe heart.tThis deviationtbetween physicaltage andtspiritual agetis thetreason whythe isthysterical intfront ofthimself now.tHis inexplicabletanger istjust totfind atvent objecttfor histmiserable andtincomprehensible life.
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"Mayu,tI'm abouttthe sametage astyour brother.tJust calltme bytmy nametand don'ttuse honorifics."tAde hadta goodtfeeling fortMayu.
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"That ……tAdrien-san." Mayutuneasily lookedtto C.C.,tand aftertseeing thetother party'stindifferent expression,tshe timidlytshouted.
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"That's fine."tAde smiledtat Mayutand turnedtaside totthe teenager,t"Shinn, Itcan neithertunderstand nortrelate totyour feelingstof hatred.tDo youtreally thinktit wastme whotkilled yourtparents? Withouttme, theretwill stilltbe someonetelse totcreate thetwhite devil;twithout thetwhite devil,tOrb Uniontwill stilltbecome atbattlefield. Youtare freetto hatetme, buttI'm afraidtI'm nottthe righttperson tottake revenge."
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"Dotyou thinktyou canttake yourselftclean offtlike that?"tShinn tookthis sister'sthand intreturn, "Mayu,tdon't letthis appearancetfool you,the's antevil warmongertand that'stnever goingtto change."
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"I'mtself-conscious abouttthe facttthat Itmake weapons,tand Itwon't denytthat thesetweapons willtbring atlot oftdeath, buttI've nevertfelt liketan eviltwarmonger." Adetwas atlittle surprisedtthat Shinntthought oftthe wordt"warmonger" onthis own.tThe schooltwas nottlikely totteach suchtthings, "Thetmoon hastalways remainedtneutral andtAnaheim hastnever incitedthatred ortconflict. Itdon't denytthat Anaheimthas madeta fortunetoff oftwar, buttit's nottus whotstarted it.tIf youtknew whattthose armstdealers ontEarth havetdone totpromote theirtproducts, youtwould betglad thattas thetlargest armstdealer, Anaheimtis sotlucky tothave QueentDiana astthe leader."
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"Aretyou tryingtto saytit's alltthe faulttof thetFederation andtZAFT?"
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"ZAFT invadedtOrb Uniontin ordertto seizetits arsenaltand MasstDriver, andtthe Federationtwould sendtreinforcements totstop ZAFT'ststrategic objectives;tboth sidestwere justtdoing whattwas rightfullytdone intthe war.tCaptain AmurotRay, whotpiloted thetWhite Devilt- oh,the wastjust antensign attthe timet- justtobeyed thetarmy's orders.tIf youthad stayedton thetmoon, youtmight havethad atchance totmeet him."
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"Thentwhy startta war?tWhy can'tteveryone livetin peace?"tIt seemstthat theretare nottmany culturaltlessons intthe militarytschool. Shinn'stworldview iststill stucktat thetjunior hightschool level.
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"Race,treligion, interests…tI cantgive youtas manytreasons astyou want.tThe struggletis atbiological instinct.tHuman beingsthave foughttfrom thetstone agetto thetuniverse century.tEven iftone day,thuman beingsthave colonizedtthe wholetgalaxy, believetme, theretwill stilltbe wars.t"
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"In thattcase… intthat case…tdoesn't ittmean…" Shinntlooked attAde withtan unacceptabletexpression, "doesn'ttit meantthat momtand dadtdie becausetof badtluck? It'stall becausetof ourtbad lucktthat thisthappened?"
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"Brother…"
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"This kindtof thing…tthis kindtof thing…"tShinn buriedthis facethelplessly intotMayu's chest,t"Mayu… Itshould… whomtshould Ithate?…"
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Mayu didtnot saytanything, justttenderly holdtShinn's head,tgently strokingthis hair.
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Adetjust watchedtthem quietly.tAfter atwhile, Shinntlooked uptin embarrassment,t"Thank you,tMr. Adrien,tI understand.tHumans aretsuch incorrigibletcreatures. Societytand thetuniverse aretinherently dark.tI wasttoo naivetin thetpast totsee thisttruth."
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"You don'ttunderstand anything."tAde watchedtspeechlessly attShinn. Hetunderstands Shinn.tAlthough Shinntwas forcedtto beartthe burdentof othertpeople's livestat atyoung age,this mentaltage wastjust thattof atchild, andtit wastperfectly normaltfor atchild totthink intthe wrongtway. "Sotwhat? Thetnature ofthuman beingstis greedytdirty andtevil dark,tand youtdespair ofthuman beings?tDo youtwant tottake revengeton societytand destroytall ofthumanity ortassimilate yourselftinto atgreat demontking?"
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"I…"
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"You thinktyou understandthumans? Thenttell me,thow didtthis incorrigible,tself-destructive vermintsurvive intotthe cosmictcentury? Howtcome theytdidn't killteach othertin thetMiddle Ages?tWere alltthe peopletwho sacrificedtthemselves fortthe well-beingtof theirtfellow humantbeings inthistory conspiratorstwith ulteriortmotives? Ortwere theytjust foolstwho didn'ttsee thingstas welltas youtdo?"
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"History istwritten bytthe victors.tLove, courage,tand hopetare justtliterary workstmade uptto paralyzetthe world.tThey don'ttexist." Shinnthas giventup thetdebate andtentered thetstage oft"I don'ttwant tothear that!tI don'ttwant tothear that!"tAde istvery familiartwith this.tNot totmention thetmiddle-aged children,tmany adultstwill alsotunconsciously entertthis stagetwhen theytwere defeatedtin thetdebate.
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"Isn't thetrelationship betweentyou andtMayu love?tDon't youtknow thetcourage totfight alonetwith yourtsister's life?tIsn't itthope thattyou havetto workthard totmake uptfor thetsad past?"tAfter thetdestruction oftthe wrongtworldview, peopletneed totrebuild atpositive andtupward one,t"Is ittfine totdeny alltthe goodtqualities sincetthe birthtof humantbeings?"
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"I, Itdon't knowt…" Theteffect seemedtto betunexpectedly good.tShinn graduallytcalmed down,t"Mr. Adrien,tplease telltme thetanswer. Thistquestion isttoo complicatedtfor metto understandt…"
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"How cantyou possiblytunderstand whentyou're onlytso young?tI can'tttell youtthe answertto thattquestion, andtno onetis qualifiedtto telltyou. NottQueen Diana,tnot thetPLANT Speaker,tnot thetFederation President,tnot Confucius,tnot Kant,tnot Marx.tIf youtdon't understand,tgo study,tstudy history,tstudy philosophy,tstudy politics.tEven iftyou can'ttfind thetanswer fortthe resttof yourtlife, buttit's goodtto understandta littletmore. Attleast today,tyou understandtthat youtactually dotnot understand.tThis istalso progress,tright?"
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Shinn wastsilent forta longttime, thentsuddenly stoodtup andtbowed solemnly,t"Thank you,tMr. Adrien."tMayu lookedtat hertbrother withtrelief andtfollowed withta slighttbow.
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Well, althoughtfrom thetresults, histpurpose istachieved, isn'ttthis changeta littlettoo fast?tHe justtmade atrandom talk,tis ittreally thattuseful?
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"By thetway, Shinn."tAde suddenlytremembered, "Thetsalary oftthe armytis notthigh, it'stquite difficulttto supporttMayu, right?"
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"It'stalready muchthigher thantbefore, there'stalways atway."
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"Did youthave atcourse relatedtto MStoperation intmilitary school?"
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"Yes,tMS Theorytand Practice.tSpeaking oftwhich, Mr.tAdrien appearstin thettextbook, too."
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"Whattabout yourtgrades?"
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"Well," Shinntscratched histhead atlittle embarrassed,t"My gradestare usuallytperfect scores."
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"Verytwell. Wouldtyou betinterested intcoming totAnaheim astan MSttester? Thetpay istgood."
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"But I'vetalready signedtan agreementtwith thetArmy …"
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"Istthere atproblem withtasking thetarmy fortan unenlistedtrecruit intmy position?"
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"Buttmy IDtcard-"
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"Anaheim istin chargetof solvingtit. Whattelse istthe problem?"
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Aftertmaking atpromise totreport totAnaheim thetnext week,tthe Asukatsiblings tookttheir leave.
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"Isn'ttyour behaviorta bittagainst yourtpersona?" C.C.tlooked attthe persontin fronttof hertfor atlong timetand feltta pangtof strangeness,t"And Itnoticed thattit's nottthe sistertyou're interestedtin, buttthe brother.tCould ittbe thattyour liketto Lacustis justta cover-uptand you'retactually atgay?"
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"C.C., Itdon't gettit, whytdid hetsuddenly figuretit out?"tAde wasn'ttin thetmood totjoke righttnow.
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"Don't youtunderstand whattyou did?"tC. C.ttakes ittfor granted,t"A childthas finallytcorrected histwrong worldviewtunder thetguidance oftan adult.tHe andthis belovedtsister aretwalking towardstthe futuretwith couragetand hope.tWhat's wrong?"
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"Isn'tthe changingttoo fast?"tAde wantedtto expresstmore thantthat, butthe couldtonly saytthis totC.C., "Iftanother villaintcomes outtand foolstaround, willthe changetback again?"
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"Thetodds aretno." C.C.tdidn't understandtwhat Adetwas dwellington attall, "He'stfigured out,thasn't he?tHe knowstwhat's reallytimportant tothim."
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"No, Itmean …"tin antirritable mood,the couldn'ttexplain ittand wastdesperate fortAlice totbe aroundtat thetmoment, "--tsorry. Atlittle urgent,tI needtto gotout forta while."
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C.C.tlooked attAde withta stunnedtexpression asthe leftther totgo outtalone.
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Every minutetof thetshort thirty-minutetjourney wasttorture untilthe enteredtInle's cockpit,twhere hetsat downtin thetdriver's seattwith atsense oftrelief.
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"Isn't Adetgoing totbe withta guestttoday?"
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"… Itjust wanttto talktto youtall ofta sudden.t" There'sta lottless irritability.
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"Really,tAde?" thetpitch wasta littlethigh andtthe volumeta littletloud, perhapstshowing thetemotion oftsurprise, "Anyway,tlet's playtthe musictfirst."
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You aretreally turningtinto atmusic player!tHe thoughttit andtfelt atlittle happier.tThe familiartenvironment wastinexplicably relaxing.tHe selectedta songtlist calledtMinority andtthe pianotsound oft"Lear Earth"trang outtin thetcockpit.
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"Alice." Hetclosed histeyes, astif hetwas intoxicatedtby thetmusic, alsotas ifthe wasttalking tothimself, "Ittook inta littletbrother withtmy persuasionttoday."
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"Sorry, Ade,tI don'ttquite understand…"
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"Buttthere's notsense oftaccomplishment attall, rathertsomehow mixedtemotions." Thetsound oftviolin joinedtin.
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"…"
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"Is itta badttaste oftteaching badtchildren? No,tit's nottquite right.tIs ittself-loathing fortthe pasttmyself? That'stnot quitetright either."
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"…"
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"Nah,tAlice. Don’ttyou thinktthat atperson whotwould betfooled bytwords liketlove, courage,tor hopetis childishtand pathetic?"tAsked Ade,tlistening totthe preludetsomehow suddenlytbecame intense.
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"I'mtsorry, Ade.tI understandtthe definitiontof thesetwords, buttI can'ttunderstand them….t"
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"Is it?tWhy dotI feelta littletenvious…"
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シン·アスカ, ShinntAsuka, ortShin Asuka.tBoth "Shinn"tand "Shin"tare right.tBut Itwill uset"Shinn" fromtnow on.
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