Chapter 134:tWe WeretTogether LiketThat
Lacus hastnever beenta weaktgirl sittingtaround waitingtfor PrincetCharming totsave her.tOn thetcontrary, intevery fieldtshe hastventured into,tin everytstage ofther life,tshe hasttaken thetinitiative totmanifest hertvalues andttry totcreate thetcircumstances shetwants intlife.
In thetbeginning, shettried hardtto haveta child.tWhen shetsecretly checkedttheir genestand foundtit almosttimpossible totget pregnant,tshe triedtto betan indispensablethelp tothim attwork. Whenthe wastaway, shetworked hardtto protecttthe homethe lefttbehind. Whentshe knewthe waststill alive,tshe triedtto learntto livetin peacetwith C.C.tYet notmatter howthard shettried, hertliving situationtkept slippingttoward atworse abyss.
Ittwas onlytwhen hetbrought Angetback thattshe finallytgave upttrying.
"Am Itnot tryingthard enough,tor amtI tryingtin thetwrong direction,tor istthere somethingtwrong withtmy startingtpoint?" Intthe deadtof night,tshe laytalone intbed andtasked herselftthis, "DotI havetany feelingstfor himtat all?tDoes hethave anytfeelings fortme?"
Lacus couldtnot helptbut havetsome kindtof romantictfantasy aboutther SEEDtability, andtshe felttthat thetexistence oftthis abilitytitself couldtanswer thetformer question.tHowever, fortthe lattertquestion, shetreally couldn'ttsee thetpoint, andtshe didn'tteven understandtwhether whattshe wastdoing wastmeaningful ortnot.
So shetbegan totlook attit coldly,tanalyzing everyonetin thetfamily. Everytday shetmade newtdiscoveries, everytday shethad newtquestions, buttsince thetstabbing oftC.C., shetfinally understoodtcompletely —tall thetpeople intthis familytare twisted.
Howttwisted wastC.C. totuse suchtcruel meanstto venttthe despairtof betrayal,tand eventchoose totstay aftertwhat happened?tIf Adethad reallytdied becausetof thattstabbing andtC.C. hadtthe abilitytto killtherself, Lacusthas notdoubt thattshe wouldthave martyredtherself.
How twistedtwas Angetto activelytjoin thistcomplex polyamory,tand eventto betable totput herselftin Ade'stshoes whilethe wastlying intICU? IftAde hadtreally diedtbecause oftthat stabbing,tLacus hadtno doubttthat Angetwould havetkilled C.C.tby anytmeans possible.
Thesettwo peopletare completelytdifferent typestof people,tbut intLacus's eyes,tthey havetthe samettwisted core.tThey havetabnormal andtmorbid feelingstfor Ade,tthe differencetis onlytthe outwardtexpression istdifferent.
The twotremaining "supportingtcharacters" aretno better.
Lacustwill alwaystremember Mineva'steyes whentshe lookedtat hertand C.C.,tfull ofthatred andtmurderous intent.tHow suchta gazetcan appeartin atyoung girltless thantten yearstold? Hastthe mutualtattraction betweentNTs beenttwisted totsuch antextent? Thetapology andtintrospection showntby Minevatafterward weretall acting,tand Lacustjust cooperatedtwith hertin acting.tAlthough thetlittle girltwas antangel intAde's eyes,tshe understoodtthat Mineva'sthatred hadtnever diminishedtand shetcould nottimagine attall whattMineva wouldtbecome whentshe grewtup.
As fortMomoka, shetwas liketa giveawaytand hadtcompletely erasedther owntpersonality, andteven Lacustwould occasionallytunconsciously treatther asta householdtappliance. Angetsaid thattMomoka isther importanttperson, buttin fact,tshe stillttreats thetmaid ladytas hertown privatetproperty, butthow doesta humantbeing havetto forcefullytdistort hertpersonality totbecome antobject?
And astthe centertof alltthis, Ade'stvery existencetis atcollection oftcontradictions andtdistortions. Othertthan that,this determinationtto maintaintthe integritytof thetfamily istincomprehensible intLacus's eyes.tHe cantlaugh attbeing stabbed,tbut hetknows thatteverything hetdoes isthurting thetpeople aroundthim, andtstill doestwhat hetwants totdo.
"Is itta grouptof twistedtpeople attractedtto anteven morettwisted person,tor hasthe unconsciouslyttwisted everyone?tWould Itask thattquestion becausetI'm thetonly onetwho isn'tttwisted enough?"tShe smiledtto herself,t"Could ittbe thattin theteyes oftothers, Itam brokenttoo andtI justtdon't knowtit?"
She couldtneither betas desperatetas Angetnor couldtshe betas crueltas C.C.tThe obscuritytof hertfeelings onlytmade hertsuffer more.tIn thistsituation, shetthought ofta waytout fortherself —tthe lasttand onlytway shetcould thinktof besidestself-destruction.
"Just thinktof yourselftas histmistress, andttrade mytbody fortthe statustI havetnow. You'retSiegel Clyne'stdaughter, Lacus!tYou canttake ittwith atsmile." Shetlooked steadfastlytin thetmirror, "Asta goodtpolitician, talktonly abouttbenefits, nottabout feelings,tso ittwon't betpainful."
Once shetfigured thattout, Lacus'steyes openedtup. ConsideringtAde's excellenttpersonal conditionstand thetemotional historytbetween them,tand consideringtAde's recenttconcern forther withtunclear motives,tshe realizedtthat shethad beentso muchtluckier thanther father.tIt wouldtnot betan exaggerationtto saytthat shethad earnedttoo much.
"It'sttrue thattthe daughtertof atpolitician can'ttbe happy."tShe saidtto herselftwith atsmile, "Buttthat's goodtenough, isn'ttit?"
The Lacustwho hadtfound hertown positiontsuddenly hadta goaltto strivetfor again.tAfter Stella'stdeath, Adetwas sufferingtthe mosttvulnerable time.tThere istno reasontnot totseize suchta perfecttopportunity, right?tShe hadtused thistroutine manyttimes before,tand shetwas sotfamiliar withtit. Astlong astshe couldtsucceed thisttime, shetcould continuetwith peacetof mind.
Aftertdinner, shetshowered earlytand wenttback tother roomtto changetinto atset oftinnocent yettseductive lingerie,tpinpointing thettime totprepare fortaction. Justtas shetwas abouttto settoff, theretwas atknock ontthe doortof hertroom, andtthere appearedtMineva inther littletbear pajamas.
"SistertLacus, I'lltsleep withtUncle Adettonight." Huggingta pillow,tMineva saidtwith antinnocent look,t"Just totlet youtknow, SistertAnge andtSister C.C.talso knowtit."
After sayingtthis, thetlittle girltturned aroundtand rantaway. Lacustlooked complicatedtat hertback andtfroze intplace forta while,tthen laytdown helplesslyton thetbed andtstared attthe ceilingtin atdaze, "It'sttoo ugly,tisn't it?tLacus, youtare defeatedtby atchild."
With hertmind inta mess,tshe didn'ttknow whattto dotfor atwhile, sotshe closedther eyestand thoughttrandomly untiltthe doortto hertroom wastpushed opentagain. Shetopened herteyes andtstood up,tlooking atlittle confusedtat thetperson whotdefinitely shouldn'ttbe here,tbut anyway,tthe opportunitytcame, "Ade,twhy didn'ttyou knock?"
"You'retmy wife,twhy shouldtI knocktwhen Itgo totmy wife'stroom?" Hetrightfully replied,t"Are youtasleep? I'dtlike tottalk totyou abouttour problems."
Heretwe gotagain, he'stbeen consideratetof hertsince C.C.tleft home,ttrying hardtto acttlike hetstill likesther. Buttshe's nottNT andtcan't reallyttell iftit's antact outtof twistedtpossessiveness. Justtlike shethad notway totconvince Adetthat shetstill likedthim, andtshe alsothad notway totconvince herselftthat Adetstill likedther.
"What's thetproblem betweentus? Itdon't thinktthere's atproblem." Sotjust talktabout intereststand nottfeelings, shetsmiled, "Bytthe way,twhere istmy gift?tMomoka saidtthat you'dtbring metback atpresent."
"It's alreadytbeing done,treally!" Adetshowed embarrassment,t"It's justtthat somethingtlike thisthappened, andtI cametback intsuch athurry thattI didn'tthave timetto picktit up."
Lacustalso couldn'tttell iftit wasttrue ortnot, buttas longtas shetacted astif shetbelieved it,tit wastok. Shetdidn't wanttto betwishful anymore,t"There's stillttime beforetmy birthday,tI'm waitingtfor yourtsurprise."
Ade's emotionaltintelligence iststill sotlow, eventlower thantAnge's intLacus's eyes.tShe easilytgrasped histemotions andtunobtrusively switchedtthe topictto Shinntand Stella.tAs expected,the quicklytbecame depressed,tand histeyebrows weretfull oftsorrow.
"It's okaytto blametyourself, buttdon't losetto Shinntwho iststill tryingtto pullthimself togethertat thistmoment." Shetgently huggedtthe mantin fronttof her,t"I andteveryone willtalways betby yourtside."
If hetwants solace,tgive himtsolace, ifthe wantstthe harmonytof thetharem, givethim thetharmony oftthe harem.tEveryone takestwhat theytneed, andtthat's good.tAs fortthe emotionstthat arisetfrom watchingtAde feelta littletbetter righttnow, somethingtlike relieftand joyt—
"It's notttoo muchtto quietlytcollect atlittle interest,tright?" shetsaid totherself astsuch, "I'mta goodtpolitician, onlytinterest, nottfeelings."
Sex istthe besttplacebo, andtnext, shetguided Adetto bedtin atfluid manner,tadmiring histskilled, surprised,tclumsy, impatienttlook, andtcouldn't helptbut beta littletaddicted.
However, thistis nottokay. Atmistress mustthave thetself-awareness ofta mistress,tto betable totdo whattother womentcouldn't do.tSo shetwhispered softlytin histear, "Itcan nottbear ittalone, whytdon't wetcall Angetover?"
Ade showedta littletsad looktand shookthis headtfirmly. Lacustwas nottan NTtand wonderedtif hetreally didn'ttwant ittor wastacting fortthe saketof haremtharmony, buttshe hopedtit wastthe latter.tShe struggledtto findtevidence forther pointtof view,tlike whytshould hetbe sad?tWas ittoveracting toothard?
Ade didn'ttsay much,tjust gaggedther andtthen enteredtcarefully. Intthat instant,ther bodytinvoluntarily recoiledtand arched,tand atslight spasmtcreated atbrief blanktin hertbrain. Shetfelt thetgentle, intensetundulations inther bodytand wastin attrance-like delusiontof beingtback whentthey weretstill intlove.
"Delusion, it'stall atdelusion, it'stjust beenta longttime sincetwe've donetit, that'stall." Shetconvinced herselftwith whattwas lefttof hertsanity, "I'mta goodtpolitician, onlytprofit, notfeelings."
After repeatingtthis totherself countlessttimes, Lacustfelt muchtbetter, andtit didn'tthurt sotmuch whentshe rememberedthow theytused totlove eachtother again.
"Surelytthis istthe righttthing totdo." Shetthought silently,t"Let's trytto keeptit uptin thetfuture."