Chapter 134: We Were Together Like That
Lacus has never been a weak girl sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to save her. On the contrary, in every field she has ventured into, in every stage of her life, she has taken the initiative to manifest her values and try to create the circumstances she wants in life.
In the beginning, she tried hard to have a child. When she secretly checked their genes and found it almost impossible to get pregnant, she tried to be an indispensable help to him at work. When he was away, she worked hard to protect the home he left behind. When she knew he was still alive, she tried to learn to live in peace with C.C. Yet no matter how hard she tried, her living situation kept slipping toward a worse abyss.
It was only when he brought Ange back that she finally gave up trying.
"Am I not trying hard enough, or am I trying in the wrong direction, or is there something wrong with my starting point?" In the dead of night, she lay alone in bed and asked herself this, "Do I have any feelings for him at all? Does he have any feelings for me?"
Lacus could not help but have some kind of romantic fantasy about her SEED ability, and she felt that the existence of this ability itself could answer the former question. However, for the latter question, she really couldn't see the point, and she didn't even understand whether what she was doing was meaningful or not.
So she began to look at it coldly, analyzing everyone in the family. Every day she made new discoveries, every day she had new questions, but since the stabbing of C.C., she finally understood completely — all the people in this family are twisted.
How twisted was C.C. to use such cruel means to vent the despair of betrayal, and even choose to stay after what happened? If Ade had really died because of that stabbing and C.C. had the ability to kill herself, Lacus has no doubt that she would have martyred herself.
How twisted was Ange to actively join this complex polyamory, and even to be able to put herself in Ade's shoes while he was lying in ICU? If Ade had really died because of that stabbing, Lacus had no doubt that Ange would have killed C.C. by any means possible.
These two people are completely different types of people, but in Lacus's eyes, they have the same twisted core. They have abnormal and morbid feelings for Ade, the difference is only the outward expression is different.
The two remaining "supporting characters" are no better.
Lacus will always remember Mineva's eyes when she looked at her and C.C., full of hatred and murderous intent. How such a gaze can appear in a young girl less than ten years old? Has the mutual attraction between NTs been twisted to such an extent? The apology and introspection shown by Mineva afterward were all acting, and Lacus just cooperated with her in acting. Although the little girl was an angel in Ade's eyes, she understood that Mineva's hatred had never diminished and she could not imagine at all what Mineva would become when she grew up.
As for Momoka, she was like a giveaway and had completely erased her own personality, and even Lacus would occasionally unconsciously treat her as a household appliance. Ange said that Momoka is her important person, but in fact, she still treats the maid lady as her own private property, but how does a human being have to forcefully distort her personality to become an object?
And as the center of all this, Ade's very existence is a collection of contradictions and distortions. Other than that, his determination to maintain the integrity of the family is incomprehensible in Lacus's eyes. He can laugh at being stabbed, but he knows that everything he does is hurting the people around him, and still does what he wants to do.
"Is it a group of twisted people attracted to an even more twisted person, or has he unconsciously twisted everyone? Would I ask that question because I'm the only one who isn't twisted enough?" She smiled to herself, "Could it be that in the eyes of others, I am broken too and I just don't know it?"
She could neither be as desperate as Ange nor could she be as cruel as C.C. The obscurity of her feelings only made her suffer more. In this situation, she thought of a way out for herself — the last and only way she could think of besides self-destruction.
"Just think of yourself as his mistress, and trade my body for the status I have now. You're Siegel Clyne's daughter, Lacus! You can take it with a smile." She looked steadfastly in the mirror, "As a good politician, talk only about benefits, not about feelings, so it won't be painful."
Once she figured that out, Lacus's eyes opened up. Considering Ade's excellent personal conditions and the emotional history between them, and considering Ade's recent concern for her with unclear motives, she realized that she had been so much luckier than her father. It would not be an exaggeration to say that she had earned too much.
"It's true that the daughter of a politician can't be happy." She said to herself with a smile, "But that's good enough, isn't it?"
The Lacus who had found her own position suddenly had a goal to strive for again. After Stella's death, Ade was suffering the most vulnerable time. There is no reason not to seize such a perfect opportunity, right? She had used this routine many times before, and she was so familiar with it. As long as she could succeed this time, she could continue with peace of mind.
After dinner, she showered early and went back to her room to change into a set of innocent yet seductive lingerie, pinpointing the time to prepare for action. Just as she was about to set off, there was a knock on the door of her room, and there appeared Mineva in her little bear pajamas.
"Sister Lacus, I'll sleep with Uncle Ade tonight." Hugging a pillow, Mineva said with an innocent look, "Just to let you know, Sister Ange and Sister C.C. also know it."
After saying this, the little girl turned around and ran away. Lacus looked complicated at her back and froze in place for a while, then lay down helplessly on the bed and stared at the ceiling in a daze, "It's too ugly, isn't it? Lacus, you are defeated by a child."
With her mind in a mess, she didn't know what to do for a while, so she closed her eyes and thought randomly until the door to her room was pushed open again. She opened her eyes and stood up, looking a little confused at the person who definitely shouldn't be here, but anyway, the opportunity came, "Ade, why didn't you knock?"
"You're my wife, why should I knock when I go to my wife's room?" He rightfully replied, "Are you asleep? I'd like to talk to you about our problems."
Here we go again, he's been considerate of her since C.C. left home, trying hard to act like he still likes her. But she's not NT and can't really tell if it's an act out of twisted possessiveness. Just like she had no way to convince Ade that she still liked him, and she also had no way to convince herself that Ade still liked her.
"What's the problem between us? I don't think there's a problem." So just talk about interests and not feelings, she smiled, "By the way, where is my gift? Momoka said that you'd bring me back a present."
"It's already being done, really!" Ade showed embarrassment, "It's just that something like this happened, and I came back in such a hurry that I didn't have time to pick it up."
Lacus also couldn't tell if it was true or not, but as long as she acted as if she believed it, it was ok. She didn't want to be wishful anymore, "There's still time before my birthday, I'm waiting for your surprise."
Ade's emotional intelligence is still so low, even lower than Ange's in Lacus's eyes. She easily grasped his emotions and unobtrusively switched the topic to Shinn and Stella. As expected, he quickly became depressed, and his eyebrows were full of sorrow.
"It's okay to blame yourself, but don't lose to Shinn who is still trying to pull himself together at this moment." She gently hugged the man in front of her, "I and everyone will always be by your side."
If he wants solace, give him solace, if he wants the harmony of the harem, give him the harmony of the harem. Everyone takes what they need, and that's good. As for the emotions that arise from watching Ade feel a little better right now, something like relief and joy —
"It's not too much to quietly collect a little interest, right?" she said to herself as such, "I'm a good politician, only interest, not feelings."
Sex is the best placebo, and next, she guided Ade to bed in a fluid manner, admiring his skilled, surprised, clumsy, impatient look, and couldn't help but be a little addicted.
However, this is not okay. A mistress must have the self-awareness of a mistress, to be able to do what other women couldn't do. So she whispered softly in his ear, "I can not bear it alone, why don't we call Ange over?"
Ade showed a little sad look and shook his head firmly. Lacus was not an NT and wondered if he really didn't want it or was acting for the sake of harem harmony, but she hoped it was the latter. She struggled to find evidence for her point of view, like why should he be sad? Was it overacting too hard?
Ade didn't say much, just gagged her and then entered carefully. In that instant, her body involuntarily recoiled and arched, and a slight spasm created a brief blank in her brain. She felt the gentle, intense undulations in her body and was in a trance-like delusion of being back when they were still in love.
"Delusion, it's all a delusion, it's just been a long time since we've done it, that's all." She convinced herself with what was left of her sanity, "I'm a good politician, only profit, no feelings."
After repeating this to herself countless times, Lacus felt much better, and it didn't hurt so much when she remembered how they used to love each other again.
"Surely this is the right thing to do." She thought silently, "Let's try to keep it up in the future."
