Chapter 61: Another Self
…The fruit sword is right there, feel free to use it for self-infliction.
After Bai Wei finished speaking so calmly, he then headed towards the kitchen to start preparing dinner.
Kichyō was seated on the tatami, raising her hand to grasp the fruit knife, her gaze flickering between brightness and darkness.
She looked at Bai Wei's back and confirmed that he was indeed cooking. Several times, she noticed him holding the knife near his throat, and her fingertips couldn't help but start trembling.
She wanted to plunge it down, but each time she couldn't dare to. The deepest attempt merely caused a break in the skin, and the slight sensation of pain immediately made her halt her hand.
Seeking death is a challenging endeavor. Before reaching a state of absolute despair, hardly anyone is willing to easily bring an end to their life, embracing the eternal void.
She has already experienced death multiple times and thought she could face it calmly, but the reality is… she is afraid, she is trembling.
Having experienced death countless times, ironically, the more she experienced it, the more she feared it… The longer she lived, the more afraid of death she became.
"Why are you trembling?"
"Why do you feel afraid?"
She couldn't comprehend it herself, that as long as she wielded the blade, she could return to the past, and then…
And then?
The people on the tram, none of them had any connection to her, they were all strangers.
Why does she insist on going back? Why does she have to risk her life for a group of strangers? Why doesn't she choose to live a good life instead?
The reason that compelled her to wield the blade was not sufficient.
If there were her loved ones on the tram, she might have compelled herself to plunge the blade into her own throat.
After all, they were all strangers. Pain was separated by distance, preventing one from truly experiencing the deep-seated suffering. Others may express sorrow and sympathy, but they are unable to truly empathize.
The fruit knife was set down.
She leaned against the sofa, her gaze vacant, without focus, as if she had immersed herself in a state of utter chaos.
Bai Wei turned on the light, casting a warm glow upon her face. The young man said, "It's time for a meal, let's eat first."
The girl pursed her lips and said, "I have no appetite now."
"Though humans are made of iron, it is food that sustains us like steel." Bai Wei shook her head and said, "Regardless of time and place, being well-fed is the most fundamental purpose of life. In the Ming Country, people always greet each other by asking 'Have you eaten?' It's also based on this principle."
"You're quite adept at giving lectures," Kichyō half-heartedly sat down at the edge of the table, glancing at the two sets of bowls and chopsticks arranged nearby. "Is there someone else?"
"And there's my younger sister and a guest, no need to wait for them, they will come in on their own when they're hungry," Bai Wei naturally understood that they would follow along the way.
Holding the bowl and chopsticks, the young girl looked at the simple dishes in front of her, took a few bites, and felt her appetite soar. "The taste is excellent."
"Jiangsu and Zhejiang cuisine, not too heavy in flavor, tends to be light and refreshing."
"You call this light?" She stared at the sticky broth and picked up a piece of braised mandarin fish.
"At the very least, it's much lighter than Sichuan cuisine. Haven't you ever tried Ming Country cuisine?"
"I don't usually get to eat these…," she pondered for a moment, "luxurious dishes."
"Wow, the family situation isn't going too well, is it?"
"No, it's my father being strict," she replied, "There are expectations for everything, from food and clothing to accommodation, and the taste of the meals is always plain."
Bai Wei joked, "An affluent household? But your attire doesn't quite match, does it?"
Kichyō remained noncommittal, continuing to lower her head and savor the meal-a warm soup, generously seasoned rice, and the flavorsome Ming Country cuisine, enhanced with aromatic spices. It wasn't particularly rare, but for her, it held a peculiar charm… especially in a situation like this, where she could still enjoy a meal with a contented heart-an experience that was truly rare.
From then on, only the tranquil sound of utensils and chewing remained. It wasn't until she set down her bowl that she realized she had eaten to her heart's content. In the past, meals were consumed in predetermined portions, and rarely did she experience such satiety.
After sipping some tea and taking a moment to let the meal settle, the young man said, "Allow me to escort you back home."
Upon hearing these words, the young girl instinctively tensed her back.
"No need, I can return by myself," she declined.
"It is not safe to walk alone at night."
"It's alright," she shook her head and said, "I can take care of myself, but you must return my sword."
Bai Wei pointed towards the entrance, indicating that everything should be placed on the cabinet.
"Thank you… for the inconvenience," she politely excused herself and exited through the door.
Bai Wei escorted her to the entrance and casually asked, "Did you purchase this sword?"
"I lend it… what's wrong with it?" she asked.
"May I borrow it for a moment?" Bai Wei asked.
Kichyō handed the sword over. Then, she watched as the young man lightly tapped and played on the middle of the sword handle with his finger, causing a metal button to detach with a resounding sound, and the yellow paper tied around the sword handle fluttered down.
"This blade is not Azuki Nagamitsu, for…" Bai Wei picked up the yellowed paper and glanced at it, hesitating whether to speak or not. "Never mind, farewell and safe journey."
…
The young girl walked alone under the moonlight, with no one following behind her.
After a short while, the sound of a crow reached her ears, and she turned around to look, but there was no trace of the crow in sight.
"What are you doing!" it angrily screeched. "You messed things up!"
Kichyō remained calm and composed, saying, "This is an uncontrollable external force, there is no way around it. At least, that's how it is this time."
"This time? Do you think there will be so many chances?" the crow shouted. "You imbecile!"
"No matter how angry you are, the situation is irreparable," the young girl said. "Let it be like this, I don't want to argue with you, and besides, I need to go home."
"Go home?" the crow sneered. "Do you even have a home to return to, Nishino-kun?"
"But I have also said, I am not Nishino."
The crow sneered, and its voice no longer reached her ears. As she turned around again, she caught sight of a black crow fluttering its wings on the streetlamp. Without the clamor of noise, she was able to continue moving forward.
After nightfall, the journey became even smoother, and the followers of the evil deity seemed to vanish without a trace, never appearing before her again.
Smoothly and without any obstacles, she walked for over two hours, and finally, under the starry sky, she found her way back to her doorstep.
The closed Daimon, painted with a sleek black finish, stood as it always had, as a matter of course.
The courtyard walls, almost three meters in height, were examined by her left and right, but she couldn't find any stones to use as footholds. However, this didn't deter her. She spotted an ancient tree in the southeast direction, with branches conveniently extending slightly higher than the courtyard walls, untouched by human intervention. Taking the bag of the ancient blade as a makeshift rope, she tied it to a tree branch. By stepping on the wall and effortlessly scaling over it, she skillfully maneuvered through the obstacles, bending her waist as she crossed the courtyard.
…
"The young lady hasn't been saying much today."
"Yes, she has been maintaining a silence even during the feast, refraining from uttering a single word. Could it be that she is not pleased?"
"If it were me, I would not be pleased either. Having everything decided by the head of the family, without any prior knowledge, it feels abrupt… If Lord Hua were still alive…"
"Shh, don't speak recklessly. Be cautious of being overheard."
"The young lady didn't eat at noon, and she won't have dinner either. Continuing in this manner will harm her health."
The murmurs of the servants' clandestine conversation gradually faded away.
Kichyō pursed her lips, unaware of what would transpire on this day. When she woke up, she found herself in the midst of a park.
Only clear about her father asked her to prepare last night, yet she was unaware of what would happen, but it seems that what would happen wouldn't be something good.
The front entrance was locked, so she didn't dare to forcefully push the door. She went around to the outside of the house and tried to open a window, which was successful. The window was not locked.
Entering the room through the window, dark clouds obscured the moonlight, rendering the interior pitch-black, with no sight of any human figure.
She stood in place, leaning against the wall, attempting to conceal herself beneath the cabinet when suddenly, the moon broke through the clouds, casting its gentle radiance.
In the center of the room, near the edge of the bed, sat a figure whose gaze fell unwaveringly upon the young girl.
Their gazes briefly intersected for a moment.
The heart of Kichyō raced uncontrollably, its clear pulsation resonating like a rhythmic beating upon the eardrums.
This was her home, but now she found herself as the outsider. If she were to call for help, escape would become arduous, and explaining the situation would prove equally challenging.
"You…" the woman by the bed spoke up.
The girl tensed up completely, even prepared to escape through a broken window if necessary.
Surprisingly, the other party didn't respond with reproach but instead earnestly scrutinized her and asked, "Who are you?"
"I?" The girl clenched her teeth and asked earnestly, "I would rather ask you, who are you? Is your name Nishino Junko?"
"Who am I?" The woman lowered her head, equally puzzled. "I'm not clear either. It seems like I've forgotten, forgotten many things, my identity, my origin."
"Forgetting?" Kichyō's tone revealed a hint of anger. "How could you forget!"
"Why are you getting angry?" the other person asked curiously.
"Of course, I would be angered! You…"
Just as she was about to speak, her entire body suddenly stiffened. An amber-colored outline emerged in the woman's eyes, an inhuman iris.
When being stared at by those eyes, there is a sensation of being preyed upon, causing a shiver to run through the entire body.
Fortunately, she didn't maintain the gaze for too long and calmly averted her eyes.
Kichyō's forehead grew moist with cold sweat as she cautiously leaned against the window. She felt that the soul within her current vessel didn't truly belong to the realm of humanity.
"Oh, so that's how it is," the woman paid no mind to the girl's slight movements and calmly remarked, "The curse within you is about to manifest. No wonder you're angered; you don't have much time left to live."
"What? A curse?" The girl's expression stiffened. When did she become cursed?
"Yes, indeed, a curse. It entwines around your heart. In three hours' time, your heart will cease its pulsation."
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