Chapter 53: Possibilities
Amuro followed Ade in silence to the moon side's ship. Bright seemed to have received the report in advance and did not intervene. After that, they went straight back to Ade's room, Amuro frowned and did not say a word from the beginning to the end.
After all these incidents, Ade still trusts his magic conch, no, NT radar, especially in the aspect of detecting malice. But he can't find a clue from Amuro's look. It doesn't make sense that Amuro is the only one who noticed the seriousness of the problem and he himself is not aware of it. In that case, there is only one possibility left, only one thing that Amuro can see and he can't see himself.
"It's okay, I'm prepared for it." Ade gave Amuro and himself a glass of water each, "Tell me, what's wrong with me?"
"… I think it's not the right time to compliment you on being too smart." Amuro sighed, "The conclusion is entirely my feelings and appalling speculation. Let me start with the process. It was you who first emailed me to ask if the range of my mental senses would be reduced by half after entering the Earth circle."
"You have already answered me, yes, it will shrink." Ade remembered so well that he didn't even need to recall, "But the specifics may vary from person to person, for example, for you it is to one-third of the original."
"Because our situation is different and I don't know the data of others, so I just speculated it. But in the course of dealing with TITANS this time, I asked Scirocco on a whim. He probably wanted to get a comparison as well, so he told me." Amuro looked distractedly at his fingers tapping his water glass, "His range was also one-third of the original."
"Coincidence doesn't tell the story unless there are more stats."
"Adrien, do you know the cause of this phenomenon?" Amuro looked up, "I've had an experience from Lalah - she was hated on Earth, hated for being NT. Something indescribable made it impossible for her to see clearly on Earth, because it hated her so much. My powers are too weak to feel this, but I trust Lalah. Can you feel it?"
Ade remembered the strange experience of bursting into the atmosphere, and the illusion that someone was speaking to him then. Could it be what Lalah felt?
"Only once." He thought carefully about what the "welcome back" meant, "Maybe it didn't hate me that much?"
"There's another possibility you haven't thought about, your NT abilities have gotten stronger, at an unnatural rate." Amuro glanced in the direction of the bridge, "I don't know how the other NT on the ship feels, but in my consciousness, you are more 'dazzling' compared to the last time we met."
"I'm unconscious … you think this situation is dangerous?" Ade didn't know if Ghingham could have such senses, but he clearly didn't have a close relationship with Ghingham to talk about it.
"Now you are both dazzling and unsettling. Forgive me for saying it, but it's almost like you could go supernova at any moment." Amuro looked worried, "All the NTs I know, me, Char, Scirocco, and even Lalah, are all rather twisted beings in personality. That's why we are extra sensitive, and become prone to extremes no matter what we love or hate, and one day we will destroy ourselves. This is why I used to be so pessimistic about NTs. I thought you were sane and could escape this destiny, but why it developed faster on you…"
Ade pondered for a moment, carefully recalling all his experiences since descending into the atmosphere so far, especially the most recent violent mood swing, and then rationalized to a conclusion he was very reluctant to admit. the NT ability still had side effects for him, even not small ones, and they worked in very strange but logical places.
"Amuro, I'm probably no different than you guys, I just have a different perspective of distorted sensitivity." He weighed his words, "You guys are sensitive to emotional factors, and I'm sensitive to rational factors. I have an unusually distorted pursuit of rationality, and when it goes beyond my perception, my emotions fluctuate just as violently. This is probably originally my flaw, and the NT ability magnifies this flaw exponentially."
"I don't really understand." Amuro looked confused.
Ade hesitated for a moment, and made up his mind. Amuro was currently the one he could trust the most in this regard, "Let you actually experience it, although the feeling doesn't seem to be very good."
The two's consciousnesses began to touch, and he tried to share the distorted, violent, and several times magnified uneasiness that arises when his worldview is forcibly and drastically expanded. Destroy one's worldview is an emotionally shattering event even for a normal person, and what happens to an NT who is extraordinarily sensitive to it?
Amuro is right, NTs are sensitive people. The more sensitive people are, the more likely they are to be ruined by something like mental induction. Sensing human emotions or sensing the malice of the world, they are just destroyed in a different way. So the most perfect NT should not be any sensible person, but a heartless and extremely optimistic person.
The most dangerous time Ade had experienced before was probably when he found the virus in TurnA, and in retrospect, the state of that night may be similar to Kamille before he hit The-O with the plane. Luckily, that day Lacus keenly noticed that he was not in the right mood and he was finally pulled back by her.
He actually owes the young girl a big thank you, and he must not forget it when he returns to say it to her in person.
Resonance ended, Amuro was silent for a long time and did not speak a word.
"As you feel, it is so." Ade sighed, "This is probably an irreconcilable conflict between me and the world, at least I can't think of a possible solution. By the way, can I quit be an NT? But I have received so many benefits, now quit is probably allowed, right?"
"Aren't you being optimistic?" Amuro couldn't help but laugh out loud, but the smile lasted for a few seconds before dissipating, "Adrien, I'm a very timid person."
"Hmm?" Why are you saying this all of a sudden?
"When I just got your Gundam, I was so timid to go into battle at all. Captain Bright even slapped me back then, and I also said something very humiliating." Amuro showed a nostalgic look, "I was still too timid and scared to go into the space after Lalah's death. To be honest, the last time we met it was Hymem who forced me to go to the moon, and I had blamed you in my heart before."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that."
"But I have nothing to regret after meeting you. Do you remember the last time we resonated? I felt inspired by you and became a little more courageous. I want to try to rebel against the NT's destiny and fight for a less tragic ending." Amuro took a deep breath, "I think you might be a bit of a coward like me. Of course, it may be a bit arrogant to say that, and I don't know exactly what you're facing, but I hope it will make you a bit more courageous as well."
"This time it's my turn to not understand."
"Want to see a live version of the White Devil's growth history?" Amuro continued the eye implication.
Another resonance ended, this time it was Ade's turn to be silent for a long time, but he finally took the initiative to speak, "You are trying to tell me that sometimes don't think too much, thinking too much is not good for your physical and mental health. Is this what you mean?"
"I'm not as smart as you, there is no way for me to find a reasonable explanation for everything. And you come from a scientific research background not having served in the military, it is your nature to pursue reasonableness and will not make unreasonable danger a part of your life like I do." Amuro's voice was low and strong, "This may sound sarcastic to you, but I hope you can find the courage to break your NT's fate. For you, for example, to realize a possibility that will be achieved even if your worldview is broken."
"But possibilities are uncontrollable things," Ade tilted his head and let out a long breath, "I hate it the most…"
…
"So thanks to Amuro Ray's contribution, and thanks to Brigadier Hymem's generosity, we found endless possibilities on Psycho Frame." Guin Sard Rhineford forced his displeasure and pretended to look kindly at the middle-aged man before him, "So Captain Franklin Bidan, would you like to join?"
"But the cost of using this material for the entire frame is simply astronomical." Bidan was nervous and drops of sweat could be faintly seen on his forehead.
"Any problem that money can solve is not a problem, Blue Cosmos is funding this project with no upper limit, it's nothing for you to worry about." Rhineford got a little impatient, "What I see is the technical power you showed in Gundam's reverse design before, all other issues are not for you to consider."
"But it is different between redoing and reverse design, and the structure of Gundam is too complicated, not to mention that it's with a brand new frame." Bidan looked very unconfident, "I'm not a master like Lingus, there is no way for me to design it alone-"
"No one asked you to design it alone, you are just a member of the technical team, and there are many top experts of the Federation besides you." If it wasn't for his son who was an NT, Rhineford would want to kick him out of this room right now, "For the last time, I'm asking you, do you want to join?"
"… I'm in."
Rhineford waved his hand to indicate for Bidan to leave. He knew from the start that this man would say yes, which is why he dared to be so nonchalant. Bidan is now enchanted by a woman. For that woman, he can sell both himself and his son. The conditions he offered must not be refused.
"I have done all as you ordered. So it will do, right?" Rhineford said to the corner of the room, where stood a blond man who seemed to just appear and also seemed to have always existed, "I do not know what this is, but it is definitely not a machine to expand NT's possibilities."
"It's just a small gift to you all, you can use it for free, and I will not interfere at all. It's just that an 'old friend' of mine is particularly obsessed with things like Gundam, and I occasionally want to try it out." The blond man stood far away, with no intention of approaching, "You've done a great job, and are the one I admire the most amongst all my collaborators, so please do keep up the good work."
"I didn't become a dog just to be praised by you." Rhineford's voice was like a low growl, "I only implore you to keep your promise."
"Your decades-long bitter love is appreciated, even I can't help but sigh. Pure and hot, deep and wonderful, this is love." The blond man gave two self-absorbed claps, "I assure you that your bitter love will be accomplished eventually. But unfortunately, now is not the time."
"I'm at this age and Laura is still the same as he was back then." Rhineford bowed his head feebly, "I can't wait any longer."
"Age is not a problem for me, when the time comes, you will naturally know what I mean--" the blond man's voice ended abruptly, he smacked his lips in a voice that Rhineford could not hear, " NewType …"
"What do you mean age isn't an issue?" Rhineford looked to him, "Explain it."
"This is the end of today's conversation, I'll take my leave." After saying that, the man disappeared as if out of thin air, or maybe he wasn't in the room from the beginning.
A few minutes later, the door was pushed open again and Scirocco walked in.
"Don Rhineford." He surveyed the room suspiciously, "Was there a guest in there just now?"
