Chapter 32: The Wolf Is Coming
Lacus leaned against the window in the corridor, looking out at the starry sky with some melancholy. In the distance, the hourglass-like wreckage could already be barely discernible in her field of vision, and as the Eternal got closer and closer to Junius 7, the hourglass gradually grew larger in her eyes. She couldn't hear any of the voices of the dead, but her heart was still as heavy as if she felt the load of 240,000 souls.
She saw Athrun just now, and he had a very sad expression on his face, remembering his mother who had passed away, right? Auntie Zala died in the Bloody Valentine Event, and Uncle Zala could not forget the hatred. But Athrun was a gentle child who learned only to be sad, not to hate.
"You have become a pilot of Freedom Gundam, shouldering the responsibility of protecting PLANT, looking at the current you from the heaven, Auntie Zala will smile and bless you, right." She comforted Athrun as she did, "It is because we know the pain that you have to use your strength to guard the hard-won peace, isn't it?"
Watching Athrun leave with a relieved expression, she felt much better about herself. It wasn't hypocrisy, it was just the natural empathy of being a human.
She knew what power her voice and words carried, and she knew how to use that power. Sometimes it's her armor to protect herself, sometimes it's her weapon of wisdom, sometimes it's her tool to inspire people, but today, she's going without it.
Politicians don't need lovers or friends, so she never fell in love or made any friends. But she made a pact with her father to fight for her own happiness. Even if there is no way to choose someone you like at will, it is okay to choose and then slowly fall in love with each other, right?
Showing sincerity to gain trust, becoming friends with common topics, trying to like each other - three steps to get it done. The perfect plan.
She had no experience in this kind of thing, but she thought it shouldn't be difficult with her emotional intelligence. Mr. Ade seems to have been prejudiced against her, thinking that everything she does is an act. He hides it badly and she can easily see it. The solution is simple, just don't act. So that Mr. Ade will immediately notice that she treats him differently, and after that, everything will go smoothly as planned.
"Hello, Mr. Ade." She smiled and uttered a greeting to the person passing by, who responded politely but looked a little distracted. Beside him, Mr. Bodyguard consciously stood a little further away. She investigated the identity of the bodyguard and was surprised to find that it was that famous Phantom ACE who had just been released from prison. As a former ACE of the Federation, was he attracted by Mr. Ade's identity or personality to be his bodyguard?
She noticed Ade's eyes on her hairpin, which was the gift from him earlier. There was no intention to please him, she had no need to do such a thing. It was just that she really liked the style of the hairpin.
Here is the first step in the plan, and a good entry point. The fact that the other party chose a hairpin that she liked shows that both sides have a similar level of aesthetics, and it's a good place to start. All she has to do is to convey the fact that she really likes the hairpin to the other party, so as to remove his wariness and close the distance.
"I replaced the hairpin that Mr. Ade gave me earlier." She tilted her head in the direction of the hairpin, and her long hair fluttered gently with it, which was a very cute pose, and she hoped to make the other party put his attention on herself through this action, "I like this hairpin very much."
The person in front of her faltered under her cute pose for about a second, and then immediately changed back to his original appearance. She understands that the impact of appearance is always limited, for example, Aznable is never moved by her appearance, always a look of "you continue to play, I will look and not say anything". But it's okay, she has a trump card.
"This hairpin is very similar to the previous one, but it's a little cuter." She said in her most sincere tone without any acting skills, "Ade-san, did you choose the crescent-shaped one because you are from the moon?"
"Actually, I didn't think too much about it, it's just that this one looks better." The person in front of her had a shy smile. He shouldn't be very good at dealing with girls, not the same as Athrun, who has much luck with women.
But she recognized this look. It was the same as Aznable's, "Acting, it's all acting, I just pretended not to notice." She was used to dealing with this kind of attitude before, but at this moment it somehow seemed so uncomfortable. Her sincere tone didn't work, and it didn't seem to have any different from the acting she did before in his eyes.
"It seems like we have similar aesthetics, I really like this style!" This was the most sincere tone she had ever used with someone other than her father, she was just trying to convey the fact that she really liked this hairpin, was it hard? Why does Ade-san continue to act as if she is acting oblivious?
"Oh, so, I'm glad you like it." Why? Why do you still put on an expression that goes along with my appearance?
"Did Ade-san once tell father-sama that war never changes?" She looked at Junius 7 in the distance and tried to change the subject. It was hard to show the difference by liking something as trivial as a hairpin, she needed something that would allow her to show emotion, "Is it pessimist? I still believe in the existence of peace yet."
"It's not that I don't believe in peace, it's just that I think war is a natural phenomenon that can't be eliminated. A permanent, absolute peace is impossible to achieve."
"But even so, I want to do my best to fight for peace, I never want this to happen again. This is my first and most important ideal." She looked out at the wreckage of the great hourglass, and the heavy sadness slowly spilled out unconsciously. This was her father's ideal, and also her ideal, and this sense of grief and mission had always constituted a source of strength for her.
He should be able to understand, right? She herself was not a bloodless and tearless politician, and she had a deep emotion as her core. This was her wholehearted, unreserved, and truest self.
"What a lofty ideal, worthy of being Clyne-san's daughter." Insincere words.
She turned her head to look at the person beside her and was instantly taken over by a wave of annoyance. Why is he still looking at me with this expression? Is a woman who has told a lie not qualified to tell the truth anymore?
As the conversation continued, an increasing sense of powerlessness wrapped around her. No matter what she said or did, the other party always reacted like "you're doing a good job on acting". I'm not acting anymore! I'm trying so hard to show my heart. Can't you see that?
She didn't want to keep trying. She is a smart person, there is no need to dwell on it, it is impossible to say something like "I am not acting, please believe me". The conversation between the two people can already be seen to conclude.
When the other person insists that everything she does is an act, there is no way to prove that something is not an act no matter what she does. Unless she suddenly becomes a New Type, there is simply no way to convince him that she really just likes this hairpin. Not only that, there was no way to prove to him that she was sincere in everything she said. It is not exaggerated, nor is it trivial, it is just a simple deduction that anyone with a normal IQ can draw.
Is it so difficult to exchange trust with sincerity?
There had never been such a need before, and she had always thought it was easy. Now when she did have it, she found that she simply couldn't do it. There was no point in even blaming the other person, she herself didn't know how to prove sincerity. When every expression and every lie is as perfect as the truth, every true word becomes a lie, right? How simple it is. It turns out that I have long lost the qualification to tell the truth.
Whether it's an opinion or an emotion, it can't be conveyed to the other person at all. She thinks the other party is an interesting person, so what? In his view, all her performance is not out of self-expression, all are acting. Even if she really likes him one day, when she confesses her love, her words will be treated as an act, right? Even if she makes love with this person, her performance in bed will be treated as an act, right?
So good luck is really a fool's errand. The daughter of a politician is an insurmountable curse, and it is probably the best choice to choose someone who has no opinion to live the rest of her life. But is Athrun a good match? He is just an unprincipled puppet. Compared with Aznable, he is just another extreme.
So that's how it is. From the beginning, I have no choice at all. I always thought that politicians did not need friendship and love, but that's just self-deception. It's not that they don't need it, but simply can't get it. Losing the qualification of happiness is the price of being a politician.
Father is the same, as evidenced by the fact that he doesn't have a single friend. Besides, does he really love my mother? He's full of lies, and he can't be trusted at all, right? Why does he force his own daughter when he obviously can't do it?
This is meaningless. When I go back, I should talk to dad and choose according to what's at stake, that's the easiest way.
"Ade-san, I have to prepare for the event afterwards, sorry but I have to leave." With a relieved smile, she gave Ade a salute and turned to leave. That would be fine, it was long overdue.
"Doctor, did you upset Miss Clyne? Why did you end it with speaking only… like two sentences?" Mr. Bodyguard's voice came from behind, "Do you want me to teach you a few tricks?"
"Stop it." It was his voice, it was a little far away almost inaudible, but she didn't care much anymore, "… delusion? … very much like … hairpin…"
Things have come to this point …
She took a deep breath and forced herself to resist the urge to turn around. There is no point, just be yourself. You are a woman with a politician's heart, and you will always be in the future.
Soon after, the Eternal arrived at the Junius 7 site, where Lacus gave a heartfelt speech that made many crews cry with sadness. Then, under her leadership, all the crew members faced the satellite wreckage and observed a three-minute silence.
The activity ended successfully soon. Returning to the cabin, Lacus was not in the mood to do anything serious, so she opened the computer, fiddling with her hair. Her fingers unintentionally touched something hard, ah, it is the hairpin …
Think about it, I haven't thanked him properly after I received this gift. It's still early in the day before the break, so let me go say thank you formally. That's all.
Coming outside Ade's cabin, she took a few more deep breaths and then pressed the pager on the door, "Mr. Ade, is that you there? This is Lacus Clyne."
The electronic door opened in response, and Mr. Ade and his bodyguard were sitting opposite each other in the room, and both stood up at the same time when they saw her enter.
"Miss Clyne, please come in." Mr. Bodyguard invited her into the door and then headed out, "Doctor, I suddenly remembered an urgent matter. I need to go back to my room for a moment. I'll be right back!"
She looked at the bodyguard who left in a hurry and laughed a little, is this the famous Phantom ACE? But… it seems that this person probably respects Ade-san, otherwise, he would not do this to this extent, without any regard for his own grace.
"Lacus, that was a great speech just now." He still put on the same expression, I should have known it, "Is there something you want to see me about at this time?"
"It's not anything particularly important." She gave a skilled, formulaic smile, "It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't thanked Ade-san properly even once after receiving this gift, I was so rude."
"It's not a big deal, don't mind."
"But manners are still important. Thank you for the birthday present, Ade-san. I--" She was reluctant and wanted to try one last time. Just once. Father-sama had said that it was okay to be a little capricious, but what kind of expression should I make at this time? "-I really like this hairpin, it's cute."
The same smile as before, a cute, charming smile that makes it completely impossible to tell if it's real or an act. Sorry, I really only know this kind of smile.
"Actually, I picked this hairpin at random, and I felt a little guilty before." The person in front of her has a confused expression for some reason. There is nothing to hesitate, nothing to be confused about, just keep acting like "you keep acting, I'm watching" and everything will be over. But he did not, why? Why did you suddenly smile? "I do not know if it is a delusion, but… today's Lacus is a little different. I can feel that you genuinely like the hairpin, so in that case, I'm happy too."
Please don't use such sly words! It'll make me misunderstand!
Her mind was in a mess, not knowing what to think or how to organize her words, she blurted out as if she had consumed all her courage, "I--"
"--Number one alert! Number one alert!" The blinding emergency lights came on, the cabin door was automatically locked, and the announcement was deafeningly loud, "An unknown number of intruders detected! Expected to be armed! Signs of fighting near the cargo bay detected! All non-combatants please remain indoors until the alarm is lifted! Repeat, number one alert! Number one alert …"
