Chapter 42: Late at Night, a Sudden Dream of Past Memories
In the stillness of the night.
Saki Jingūji, however, struggled to fall asleep, tossing and turning for a long while.
Every time she closed her eyes, every time she drifted into a shallow slumber, she always heard a familiar yet unfamiliar voice.
It seems as though she always senses the presence of familiar individuals nearby, who gently caress her tresses with an uplifted hand.
In the dream, she was not a human, but rather that adorable immortal fox.
…oh, you foolish fox…
That person always refers to her in this way.
From the first encounter to the final farewell forever.
However, she always fails to make out the person's countenance, unable to remember his appearance.
The scenes came too swiftly, and were excessively chaotic and intricate.
Unconsciously waking up every time, with traces of tears at the corners of the eyes, wet and then dry.
Instead of returning to slumber, she decided to venture out into the night, holding a candle. She walked out of the house and arrived at the courtyard of a divine shrine. There, a cherry blossom tree adorned with sacred shimenawa, gently swayed its branches in the protection of four torii gates. It was not the season for blooming, and this ancient tree had not blossomed for centuries.
"Having trouble falling asleep?"
As Saki Jingūji looked on, she had just attempted to sit down, only to reflexively rise once again.
"Nori-sama…"
"Fret not, please have a seat. When it's just the two of us, there's no need to be so reserved."
The woman dressed in mourning attire gently held onto the girl's shoulder and sat down nearby. The two of them settled on a wooden corridor.
"I still dream," Saki Jingūji whispered. "When I close my eyes, all I see is that face, that voice… Am I…?"
"No," Kokonohana Nori stated with certainty. "You have not awakened the Heroic Spirit Principle."
"Hmm."
"However, this doesn't mean that these memories are imported goods," the elder funeral attendant said in a hushed voice. "Not only heroic spirits can see past lives, you must have heard stories about this as well."
"Is it a tale of reincarnation and destiny?" Saki Jingūji whispered. "I thought that was a deceiving fairy tale."
"Every story has its origin, some true and others false, but the endings of those stories often leave a displeasing impression," Kokonohana Nori gently remarked. "To hold onto someone who has passed away is a painful endeavor, which is why those stories often persuade people to learn how to let go."
"Does Lady Nori also believe that it was simply a dream and there is no need to worry?" Jingūji asked softly.
The funeral attendant looked at the sakura blossoms in the courtyard and asked, "Do you know why I am dressed in mourning attire?"
"The customs of the shrine?"
"No, even if it is a custom, it doesn't require one to wear mourning attire for their entire lifetime. It is only necessary to dress accordingly for formal occasions. However, throughout the generations, very few funeral attendants have actually spent their entire lives clad in mourning garments," Kokonohana Nori whispered. "Only the first-generation funeral attendant and my generation have worn mourning attire for more than a decade… of course, I don't dress this way out of personal preference."
"That is… why?"
"For remembrance, for the sake of not letting oneself forget," Kokonohana Nori's voice was gentle and captivating, yet carried an extraordinary determination. "I believe that being able to long for someone enduringly is a beautiful thing… Forcing oneself to forget, forcing oneself to let go, is merely burying one's past self relentlessly… In that sense, perhaps I might envy you."
"Me?"
"The longing and memories have transcended the constraints of time and life and death, a feat that I too am unable to accomplish."
The funeral ceremony might be an expression of heartfelt envy or perhaps merely a consolation for those with high emotional intelligence. Having said this, she stood up voluntarily, concluded the conversation, and gracefully departed.
Saki Jingūji grasped the fabric at her chest, bowing her head in contemplation.
"Because I have been resisting, is that why I can't see his true face? If I choose to accept this memory, will I be able to… But in doing so, will I become someone else? Will I become that fox?"
Even if that was her past self, there would still be a certain level of resistance within her heart, an instinctive reluctance that prevented her from truly integrating the fragments of memories she had obtained.
Therefore, she couldn't discern the appearance of that person.
"Ah…" Saki Jingūji let out a frustrated sigh. It was fortunate to have narrowly escaped danger, but she couldn't shake the feeling that the situation had become even more complicated. It wasn't just about heroic spirits anymore; there was now an added burden of seemingly meaningless memories. Since it pertained to her past life, what purpose did recalling them truly serve?
"Yes, what use does it have, after all?"
"He is already dead, ceases to exist, and even has been swallowed by 'you' with your own mouth."
She hugged her knees and muttered to herself.
"Unless…"
Unconsciously recalling what Kokonohana Nori had mentioned about "reincarnation and karmic bonds," she became lost in thoughts for quite a while, burying her flushed face between her knees.
…
"Oh my, you're blushing."
"You behave like this, how can someone not blush!"
"Come, let me have a look!"
"Brother, don't!"
"Listen, let me have a look!"
"Even if it's my brother, I…"
"If you don't let me see, I will take action directly."
"Ah!"
Bai Wei lifted the sleeve of Yagyū Simozi, observing the various shades of blue and purple. Shaking his head involuntarily, he remarked, "Don't you think you've been training a bit excessively? You're not even wearing protective gear. Even in combat practice, can you ensure that there won't be any issues if you continue like this?"
Yagyū Simozi blushed, but it wasn't due to shyness. She had known Bai Wei since she was twelve years old, and back then, they didn't have much awareness of gender boundaries. Now, Bai Wei had developed that perspective, but she clearly hadn't embraced the notion of keeping a distance from others. The reason she didn't want him to see the bruises on her body was simply that she found them unsightly and embarrassing.
"Have you applied the medicinal alcohol for bruises?"
"Not yet."
Bai Wei took it and said, "Let me help you apply it." He poured out the medicinal alcohol to treat her injuries, while activating his true qi for a warm compress therapy. "You and that girl really had quite an intense fight."
"It's usually me who wins."
"I don't think it's that easy, the opponent is not bad either, your advantage has some elements of opportunism."
"The technique I just learned was specifically prepared for her; it's not about any sort of opportunism."
"Nevertheless, you were too blindly aggressive, precisely because of this, you ended up getting more severely injured than her," Bai Wei cautioned. "Her cautious playing style is suitable for you to learn. Sometimes, offense is not necessarily the best choice. Choosing defense makes it easier to perceive the opponent's attacking strategies. Without a second thought, you recklessly charged ahead. But when it comes to a real battle, how many lives do you think you have?"
Yagyū Simozi took it in, but only halfway. She raised an unhappy eyebrow and said, "Brother, why do you always side with that brainless big-busted girl!"
Bai Wei, "…"
He glanced at the top of his younger sister's head, wanting to confirm if there was an exclamation mark or a new term for "anti-best friend" in there.
Yagyū Simozi furrowed her brows, "Brother, you haven't spoken to her, have you?"
Bai Wei released his grip, "Alright, it's done. The swelling will subside by tomorrow."
"Brother!" His younger sister grabbed his wrist, her eyes brimming with anxiety, resembling a tiny cat on the verge of getting startled, "Did you actually talk to her or not?"
"Is this really important?" Bai Wei was momentarily at a loss for words, "Do you truly believe that a couple of sentences from me would instantly skyrocket her favorability towards me?"
"This is hard to say for certain, she might have planned it in advance…"
"Ridiculous." Bai Wei playfully flicked Yagyū Simozi's forehead. "In this lifetime, how many women do I really know? Isn't that already clear to you?"
Reluctantly, Simozi released her grip. Of course, she was aware. If she wasn't, why would she be so tense?
Moreover, Yingzhou and the Ming Country are different. Here, the social status of men is higher than that of women. A high-quality man from the Ming Country can be considered a highly desirable suitor, often referred to as a "Golden Son-in-law."
In this Yingzhou society, where 'having a job and not engaging in domestic violence' is commonly regarded as a sign of a good man… It truly exerts immense pressure on everyone.
In the past, Yagyū Simozi didn't feel much pressure, as Bai Wei became dispirited and immersed himself in the world of otaku culture ever since the decline of the Kirin Tournament.
Once one is involved even just a little in this aspect (becoming an otaku), no matter how handsome their appearance may be, it cannot salvage their societal reputation.
However, the awakened Bai Wei has undergone a complete transformation. His temperament is tightly controlled, exuding nobility and elegance, along with a touch of world-weariness and melancholy. He has acquired a composed and proficient demeanor, coupled with an amiable and understanding nature. His wealth of social experience allows him to effortlessly switch between different charismatic personas. Even Yagyū Simozi herself occasionally finds him unfamiliar, but undeniably more handsome.
Her defensive and alertness levels have been elevated by an entire tier, yet she still feels it is insufficient. At present, there is no evidence, so she can only temporarily abandon the matter.
Bai Wei breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that she didn't further inquire. This sister of his was great in every way, except for her tendency to excessively control others.
In this aspect, it's just like the young Liliana… both being unfortunate children who lacked love from a young age, fearful of being abandoned by their loved ones.
"Don't worry," Bai Wei reassured, extending his hand to gently stroke Yagyū Simozi's hair.
"?"
"Before you establish a new family, I won't stray too far," Bai Wei's smile resembled that of an elderly father.
Chuckle… It seems he heard the sound of a string snapping.
