Chapter 114: Vomiting Out the Soul
Time flew by, and several years passed in the blink of an eye.
Yagyū Saizō once again stood in front of RashoMon gate.
Sometimes, he would stand here lost in thought for several days. His reputation as a sword saint had spread far and wide, and people believed that when he stood here, he was either discovering new sword techniques or practicing some extraordinary swordsmanship.
But he was simply daydreaming.
He often wondered if everything he had experienced was just a dream, maybe even his own existence was unreal. It felt like he was watching a long carousel of memories before his death, and perhaps he had never actually stepped out of that door at all.
Maybe, indeed, he hadn't.
Even though he walked out, a part of him remained forever and ever inside that door.
He unsheathed the Tengu Cut, swinging it outside RashoMon. The sound of the sword was sharp and clear, with a constant buzzing that filled the air. It was so pure, yet it seemed to whisper sorrowfully.
For a long time, he put away his sword and gazed at the pitch-black door, which stood like a silent monument.
Because he was unwilling to admit that the youth had already died, he had delayed erecting a tombstone for him, leaving no place to mourn. He could only stand here, pouring out his heart, with a flask of sake and rice balls, speaking these words as he drank alone.
"Chiyo is getting married soon."
"She was a lady in her twenties. I could wait for you for ten or twenty years, but she couldn't wait for you that long."
"I think even though she hasn't met you, she probably likes you a little bit. She said a long time ago that she wanted me to introduce her to you, but you always avoided it."
"I've always been thinking, if you two had children earlier, maybe there would still be some legacy left now."
"My sister got married mainly for me. She needs to give birth to a baby boy and pass him on to me, so that he can inherit the Yagyū family."
"Even so, I was still unhappy, so I didn't go to her wedding and my mother scolded me."
"You see, it seems like in this world, only I remember you. If you don't come back soon, you will truly be forgotten."
He lifted his hand and touched the dark door, waiting for a long time, but there was no response.
With a sigh, he returned home sadly.
…
It was another snowy day of the year.
As Yagyū Saizō was cleaning the house in the bamboo forest, he heard rumors among the hunters. The rumors said that the long-disappeared demons had reappeared.
He couldn't believe it in his heart, after all, demons shouldn't appear for at least seventy years, if ever.
But he still brought along the Tengu Cut and headed towards the mountain forest that the hunters had mentioned.
Once upon a time, this place used to be where Tengus played happily. But now, the mountain forest has become empty and desolate, as if it has lost its owners.
The demons of Oeyama had killed too many Tengus, so they wouldn't come back to this sad place for at least several hundred years.
Walking through the mountain forest, the fresh bloodstains of wild animals suddenly stood out in the middle of the snowy ground.
He made sure that the bloodstains were fresh. Following the bloodstains and footprints, he tracked his way to the depths of the dark forest.
Saizō saw a demon.
He was very certain, it was indeed a demon.
The demon tore at the neck of the deer, drinking its blood with pain in his heart.
Quietly, Yagyū Saizō unsheathed his Tengu Cut, the sound of his blade slicing through the air.
The demon suddenly sensed something, turning around with a face pale with blood, bloodshot eyes shedding crimson tears, and a body enveloped in an unshakeable aura of filth.
Saizō thought that the demon was fast in its movements, so he swung his Tengu Cut swiftly. The blade made a sharp sound, and the air split apart with the force of the sword, tearing through the forest.
The demon couldn't be seen, yet it was able to avoid escape from harm.
He chased after at a fast pace, with each step like a shooting star. The man and the demon raced through the forest, pursuing and being pursued.
Not long had passed when they crossed the mountains and arrived at a bamboo grove. The snow-covered ground was gleaming white. The injured demon, unable to run any further, ceased its pursuit.
The demon turned around in front of the small house and pulled out a broken blade from behind. He grabbed something and placed it over his face.
Saizō didn't expect the opponent to use a sword too, but he wasn't afraid at all.
The sword saint, who was several times stronger than before, stepped forward and swung his sword. They clashed with each other from daylight until the sun began to set.
Saizō didn't anticipate that his opponent would be so formidable. However, he persevered and ultimately came out on top.
The Secret Sword: Tengu Falls.
The swift blade, sharp as a divine edge, was capable of slicing through the Tengu's feathers. In an instant, it tore apart the arms of the evil demon.
The evil demon stood still, no longer moving, as tears of blood streamed from its eyes. It appeared to regain a spark of life in its eyes.
He looked up and gazed at the white moonlight sprinkled in the sky.
Then, he immediately turned his gaze towards the figure standing in the bamboo grove. His expression transformed into one of pure joy and liveliness.
Then, his chest was pierced by a sword.
…
Not knowing why he kept persevering, he was about to forget how much time had passed.
After a long time of fighting off demons, exposed to poisonous air, and immersed in the creepy ghostly realm of RashoMon, unnoticed and without realizing it, those evil demons stopped swarming towards his.
His eyes were almost blinded as the evil demon's blood corroded them.
So, he didn't realize the changes happening to his body. By the time he became aware of it, his original appearance had only a few traces remaining.
Little did I know, I had transformed into an evil demon.
Even so, I must go back.
Break through the thin fog, kick open the big door, wanting to go back, back to the light.
They had promised to meet again, so they had to go back and see each other one more time.
He resembled a wicked person trapped in hell, clutching onto a dangling spider silk. Miraculously, he managed to emerge from the RashoMon gate.
What came out from the RashoMon gate was no longer a human, but a terrifying and monstrous dmon.
His memories became very blurry and hazy, forgetting where he was supposed to go. He wandered alone, feeling lost and confused.
Until his arms were broken, a little spark of awareness stirred within him.
He gazed at his close friend who was no longer young, but had grown even wiser with age.
The young man smiled gracefully.
I have returned.
In a swift moment, Tengu Cut pierced through his chest.
…
In the moment before his death, his true essence was preserved, becoming pure and clear, as if it had been cleansed by moonlight.
The filth that had plagued the young man dissipated, carried away by a gentle breeze. The hideous demon with its grimacing green face and sharp fangs transformed back into a familiar young man.
The broken and distorted fox mask slipped from his forehead, landing on the sheath of Tengu Cut.
The snow-covered ground turned red with blood.
The hand holding the sword trembled, just like his silent heart had been trembling for nearly ten years.
Yagyū Saizō looked at the figure under the moonlight in disbelief. He couldn't believe his eyes. He refused to accept what he was seeing and stumbled backward, releasing his grip.
The young man fell backward onto the snowy ground, with a smile on his face. His expression relaxed, as if he had finally found relief.
No…
"No!" Saizō exclaimed.
Yagyū Saizō knelt in the snowy ground, his eyes widened, his voice hoarse. He said, "It shouldn't be like this."
He rushed forward, tightly embracing the young man's body, shouting his name loudly.
However, the young man couldn't hear anything at all. His vision, tainted by blood, became blurry. At that moment, for some unknown reason, he saw the long-awaited scenery that he had dreamed of for many years.
The young man saw a little girl wearing a snow-white kimono, walking under the moonlight, like a pure white fairy in the snow.
She waved at him, smiling sweetly, holding the familiar food box in her hands.
"I really want to taste the flavor of the rice ball again."
"I really want to see you in a white kimono again."
"Twenty years ago, I fell in love with you… It was an incurable affection."
"The kindness of a meal."
"In the next life, I'll repay you."
Unable to breathe, the young man closed his eyes. With a heart full of regrets that could never be repaid, he died in the embrace of his dear friend, and even at his own hands.
…
Bai Wei opened his eyes and woke up from a dream-like memory, as if a thousand autumns had passed.
He looked at his hand while standing in the snowy landscape, and when he lowered his head, he could see his lifeless self.
"It was me… but also not me…"
The young man's fingertips trembled ever so slightly, as countless unclear and indescribable emotions swirled and clashed within his heart.
"This is… determination,"
It is the relentless obsession to keep living, the debt of one meal that can never be repaid, and the regret and resentment that will last a lifetime due to never being able to meet again.
This is the strong desire of a person. Throughout his entire life, he never had the opportunity to see that girl again before he passed away.
Even though he had grown used to looking back on the past, it was still difficult for him to instantly bear the heavy weight and emotions of these memories.
He sat on the snowy ground with great difficulty, closed his eyes, and within the depths of his soul, the image of the girl in a white kimono still lingered.
He could not forget.
He would never forget for his entire life.
In the next life, he didn't want to forget. The strong desire was etched deep inside like a knot, just like scars and marks that lasted even after countless years had passed, without fading in the slightest.
After sitting quietly for a long time, Bai Wei finally calmed down his inner sadness.
He looked at the bones in the snow. It seemed like his memories of himself should have stopped here, but it appeared that this long journey down memory lane wasn't over yet.
Who would be the next to remember?
…
Saizō held the young man's lifeless body, looking up at the sky until his tears ran dry.
He did come back.
He kept his promise.
But who would want such a outcome? Waiting painfully for ten years, only to receive such a result?
Heartbreakingly sad.
The promise came to an end.
He buried the young man in the bamboo forest and sat in front of the grave for three days, motionless.
Then he pulled out the Tengu Cut, swinging the sword frantically, the blade flashing in front of the lonely grave, as if only doing so could make him forget this immense pain.
…
It was another winter day.
Yagyū Saizō remained all alone.
His sister had three children by now, and one of them was entrusted to him, becoming the eldest son of the Yagyū family.
He didn't want to worry about these things, his parents took care of everything.
One day, by chance, his mother asked the servant to clean the room. While cleaning, they discovered an old box. Inside the box, there was a lunchbox and a beautiful, snowy-white kimono.
He held the box and found his little sister, Chiyo. He asked her if she had accidentally misplaced her belongings.
His little sister said, "No, it isn't mine."
He didn't pay it much attention and decided to simply throw away these random items.
While halfway there, his mother saw him and called out to him. She carefully folded the kimono, sighed, and said, "This kimono belongs to you, it is your own possession."
"It has been many years now, you should let go and return to your true self, Yukichiyo."
His mother called out his childhood nickname.
Saizō gazed at the kimono before him, remaining silent for a long time.
"He" was born as a girl, but decided to live like a man, because the Yagyū family needed an heir, and as the eldest daughter, he transformed from Yukichiyo into Saizō. His younger sister also changed her name from Asakichiyo to Chiyo.
It is not possible to change one's gender, but the noble families have ways to conceal it. In the mountains, there are Tengu, and in the fields, there are tanuki, the latter being skilled in illusions.
At the age of ten, she traded her own voice as a permanent exchange for the ability to conceal her gender through illusions. Long before that, she had already forgotten that she was a girl.
Because of this, the memories before the age of ten became blurry and uncertain. If she couldn't deceive herself, how could she deceive others?
Now, as his mother called out to him, he suddenly realized that there might indeed be some truth to this matter.
The old woman rambled on, "These are all things from your childhood, my dear. When you were young, you didn't like eating rice balls and always complained of hunger. So, I had someone make a food box for you to carry around. Whenever you felt hungry, you could just take a few bites, and no one could even tell because you could stash it in your sleeve."
Saizō picked up the snowy white little kimono and carefully examined the food box next to it. In an instant, his thoughts drifted back to a distant past, and a flood of hazy memories from his childhood surged forth.
She remembered how much she loved wearing a kimono and wandering through the streets and alleys as a child. On snowy days, she would secretly sneak out of the house, always carrying a rice ball in her food box, along with some snacks to eat on the go. She remembered that it was also on a snowy day that year when she walked past a street corner and saw a pack of fierce dogs surrounding a freezing beggar…
She suddenly grabbed her sleeve, feeling her forehead burning up, as if the long-forgotten past was like snow that had accumulated for decades. Finally, unable to bear the weight any longer, it crumbled and memories flooded in like an avalanche.
"Please, eat it," she said with a kind smile, gesturing with her hand.
"Take your time with eating…" she said gently, urging the beggar to savor each bite.
"Hush…" she whispered, signaling for them to keep quiet, saying, "Don't tell anyone that I've been here, okay?"
Memories connected like threads, creating ripples that spread out, causing a massive wave to rise up and crash down.
He remembered the young man he used to drink under the moon with, and a question that had always puzzled him.
Why do you care so much about Chiyo? A chance encounter that has kept you captivated for a whole decade? Wasn't she just a little girl of seven or eight back then?
Yukichiyo's eyes glazed over as if in a dream, and suddenly she recalled the carefree smile of the young man and his murmured farewell as he gazed upon the snowy landscape.
"The kindness of a meal," he said gratefully.
"In the next life, I'll repay you," he whispered with a promise.
She fell to her knees, hands covering her mouth, experiencing spasms and convulsions in her stomach, and vomited a mixture of stomach fluids and rice grains.
Yukichiyo's expression contorted in pain, and with blurred, hoarse sounds, it felt as though she was trying to expel her soul.
