Chapter 65: Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
"My family is a renowned lineage, and I am the daughter of a samurai family."
"My father told me that in order to embody the qualities of a daughter of the samurai family, I should delve into the verses of the Ming Country and study the art of flower arrangement and tea ceremonies."
"My father told me to possess the abilities of a daughter of the samurai family, so I began practicing swordsmanship from the age of seven, without interruption, gradually becoming inseparable from my blade."
"My father told me that as a daughter of our family, I must dedicate myself to the family. Therefore, starting from the age of nineteen, I began my training as a bride."
"I have a passion for musical instruments, particularly the shakuhachi flute, but my father believes that such pursuits would be a waste of time. Therefore, I reluctantly gave up the shakuhachi and dismissed my vocal instructor."
"I enjoy comics and literature, and the martial arts novels of the Ming Country lean towards realistic literature with a touch of romance. I secretly read several volumes, but after being discovered, I never read any novels again. Instead, I focused on poetry, classics, and essays."
"I also love small animals, but the little rabbits, turtles, and goldfish I once had were all given away. When I was ten years old, I received a Persian cat as a pet. I cared for it for six months, but it fell ill, causing me to miss a day of classes, and eventually it was sent away."
"But up until this point, I can accept it."
"My family is like this, perhaps destined to never truly experience freedom in this lifetime."
"I also understand that father carries a heavy burden of responsibility, with mother passing away early and grandfather being incapable. The weight of the entire extended family rests on his shoulders… I also hope to mature early and assist him in overcoming difficulties."
"Therefore, even sacrificing some of myself is of no consequence."
"I suppose, this is my destiny."
"This is how I have spent twenty years of my life, and I believed that I was prepared, thinking that I had become mature enough."
"But…"
"I didn't expect such a thing to happen. It came too quickly, catching me off guard, just from a mere nap… But it was so bizarre, so tragic, so cruel."
"In the beginning, I didn't pay too much attention to the initial rollbacks, nor did I overly concern myself with them."
"In fact, science fiction novels have also depicted the elements of resurrection, time reversal, and popular movie themes. They are quite impressive."
"I accepted the current situation, believing that I could handle it well, just like a movie star saving people on a train and also saved myself."
"Is this a form of self-deception? Or is it because of having died twice that something has become abnormal…"
"Looking back now, I also find it very strange, as if I was lacking in intelligence, very naive."
"And then, like a karmic retribution, reality slapped me in response."
"It was a painful slap."
"When I saw the back of the head of my family member, who had once been by my side as I grew up, split open by an axe, only then did I finally realize something."
"This world, in fact, makes no logical sense at all."
"That group of cult followers of the evil gods is like that, and the world, which suddenly undergoes unpredictable changes, is also like that."
"People die so easily."
"Just like a piece of paper, torn apart with a light pull, burned away with a single flame, like a mere blade of grass, like dust and ashes."
"I have died so many times."
"Having experienced so much."
"I finally realize and become aware that I am truly not mature enough, and I have indeed been too presumptuous."
"I have no ability to protect myself in this world, let alone saving others. I can't even save myself."
"From the beginning, I have been walking along the path designated by others, never making a choice of my own. So, I have brought upon myself the downfall, and if I had realized this earlier, perhaps the outcome would have been different."
"I am feeble, I lack the power for vengeance."
"Thus, I cast aside the sword and fled in haste, without discerning a proper path."
"I also fear pain, I also fear death, but what I fear more… is the meaningless repetition."
"What am I doing, repeatedly, without any chance of success? What can I possibly achieve?"
"Is this relentless cycle of repetition and retrospection, until my soul and spirit wither away, truly my fate?"
She crossed her arms and buried her head.
Alone, helpless, in a subdued manner, she wept.
She was trapped in this cycle, whether it was softly sobbing or wailing loudly, no one could hear her.
Swallowing the bitterness and pain, silently lamenting alone.
Unleashing the accumulated emotions through words, gradually expressing all the pent-up mental pressure, she realized that she was already full of wounds.
Feeling truly exhausted, weary, and fatigued…
Not even wanting to lift a finger, only desiring to have a good cry, like a solitary and destitute child.
She leaned against the bench by the roadside, tilting her head, her voice becoming increasingly faint.
…
"Brother," Yagyū Simozi approached.
"Asleep." Bai Wei called her over and gently exchanged positions with her. "You stay here."
"?"
"I have something to attend to, wait for me here," Bai Wei gently caressed his sister's cheek. "Understood?"
"Oh…" The warmth of the touch on her cheek made the girl blush and her heart race, to the point where she even forgot to inquire further.
As the young man's figure blended into the crowd, she only then realized what she should have inquired about. However, mindful of the little girl beside her, she reluctantly remained seated, stable.
…
Bai Wei turned the corner and came to a halt. "Intending to follow me?"
"No," Saki Jingūji poked her head out. "Just passing by."
"It's still better for you to accompany Simozi."
"Underestimating me, huh?" Saki Jingūji raised an eyebrow. "There's a strange aura emanating from this child, I can sense it…"
She rarely spoke earnestly, "Handling dangerous matters is indeed the responsibility of a Sword Witch. It's you, a person of the Ming Country, who recklessly intervenes and risks ending up in a detention center… It would be better to leave it to me, a professional. You should go back and accompany Simozi."
"The followers of the evil deity are quite difficult to deal with, ordinary people would surely end up losing limbs and getting injured."
"Do you wish to spend your next life in a wheelchair?"
Miss Witch evaded the important matters while magnifying trivial ones, baring her teeth and waving her claws to intimidate Bai Wei as if she knew everything inside out.
Bai Wei couldn't help but chuckle.
"…stupid fox."
Saki Jingūji's expression suddenly froze, her eyes fixed unwaveringly on the young man, as if trying to see through his flesh and delve into his soul.
"What did you just call me?"
Bai Wei tapped his finger lightly on her forehead without uttering a response.
"Feel free to come along, but you must heed my words, do you understand?"
His words were calm, yet carried a compelling assertiveness that left no room for rebuttal.
Jingūji wanted to inquire and clarify, but at a glance, she felt a sense of familiarity from his back. She opened her mouth, but then closed it again.
The shrine maiden obediently followed behind, stealing glances at his back while casually asking, "Where are we going?"
"Let's put a definitive end to this repetitive stage play."
Bai Wei stretched lazily towards the afternoon sun, squinted his eyes, and let out a yawn.
"I haven't slept for a long time either, I'm quite sleepy."
One hundred times of rollback.
Hundreds of times in total.
Did Bai Wei really do nothing at all?
Just spending relaxing days by waking up and finding his younger sister, then going out for a stroll and having a chat, is that all Bai Wei did every day?
How is that possible?
She thought she was fighting alone, but in reality, it was not the case.
As early as the second rollback, the Yagyū family was attacked by the fanatic followers that followed closely. From that moment on, he became aware of the impossibility of staying aloof from the matter.
Alongside her, there was also Bai Wei, who embarked on this cycle of reincarnation as her companion in the challenge.
Among those who couldn't find peace in their slumber, Bai Wei was also counted.
The emperor never sleeps.
Now, while Kichyō cannot persist any longer, he still retains his strength.
In the hundred cycles of reincarnation, he has already uncovered the lair of the fanatical followers of the malevolent deity, all the while engaging in repetitive levelling prior to this revelation.
Just like playing a game.
This will be the final time.
The chest of the young man heaves, breathing like a bellows, his heart pounding like a rising flame, as if a burning forge. The resounding strikes shape the steel upon the forge, forging it into sharper and more resilient weapons. After undergoing a hundred blows, his soul also rises to its highest temperature.
Having shed the lazy and casual facade, Jingūji glimpsed for the first time the expression between his brows, reminiscent of a farmer gazing upon golden wheat fields, or an emperor surveying the grand empire under his rule, or a sage beholding the timeless and unchanging scenes of countless generations.
She heard him emit such a gentle sigh.
"I will not go gently into that good night."
